Our mind is a very powerful tool. What goes on in our mind can have an affect on our physical condition.
This isn’t news to many but the question stands on why our minds don’t always process or acknowledge many emotions, let alone allow us to understand or even feel them.
The mind can disregard traumatic experiences and memories in order to protect itself but does this mean that the unresolved and related emotion still exists and lurks in the background? How safe is this and does it manifest itself in random and unexplained behaviours?
I have my own thoughts on this and not everyone will agree, not everyone wants to even acknowledge it and many are not that self aware so it doesn’t even register on their radar.
Many unresolved emotions manifest themselves as powerful and directionless anxiety. We will probably feel like we need to be continuously busy and cling to activities which mean we simply don’t have the time to face what is lurking head on.
The same can happen around hurt. Someone could have abused our trust, made us doubt their kindness or violated our self-esteem but acknowledging it would hurt too much so we put it to one side.
The hurt is still there inside but on the surface we put on more of a front than Blackpool, numb ourselves chemically or adopt a careful non-specific tone of cynicism which masks the wound that hurts us.
However we will in the long term suffer dearly for this. Our minds will grow to be unoriginal. We will grow depressed about everything but not allow ourselves to be even be a bit sad. Insomnia will eventually kick-in forcing us to acknowledge what is keeping us awake. This is not sustainable.
We stop processing emotions because we feel that it would contradict the image we have so carefully portrayed outwardly and it certainly wouldn’t be conducive to what today’s society believes is ‘normality’.
Processing emotions hurts, of course it does. But as someone who did this and nearly didn’t live to tell the tale through 20 years of pain I can tell you that it is a lot less painful to go through it in the short term!
To process and to acknowledge your unresolved difficult emotions requires good friends, and/or an understanding and trusted professional plus rituals such as meditation and positive affirmations.
Once the mask is off and who you really are becomes apparent, allow yourself a period of mourning the person you were, the person who you thought you wanted to be and embrace this new authentic you!